Prompt: How did saloons keep beers cold in the Old West?
The Old West was hot. Extremely hot. But, everyone loved drinking. The only problem was that no one liked to drink warm beer, but no one knew how to keep beers cold. "Man, I am so tired of these warm beers," said Billy Joe. "Well, I can't do nothing about that, can I?" replied the Sally, the saloon owner. "You mean to tell me that you got no idea how to keep these here beers warm?" "Ain't that what I just said? I'll tell you what, you find me a way to keep my beers cold and I'll give you free beer for a year, got that?" "Oh I'll find a way." And so Billy Joe rode home with one goal -- find a way to keep beers cold. When he got home there was a problem, he had no idea where to start. So he started experimenting. Billy decided to cloister himself until he found a solution to his problem. The first thing he tried was wrapping some beers in a blanket overnight to see if the blankets would keep the heat out. Before you say anything, no one told you that Billy Joe was the smartest guy ever, I mean he just tried to use blankets to keep something cold. Anyways, that obviously didn't work, so he moved onto the next thing, keeping the beers in a bucket full of water overnight. This worked a little better, but the beers still weren't at a satisfactory temperature for him. Billy tried everything, keeping them in the darkest place, keeping them outside on the porch, keeping them inside on top of dresser, putting them in an empty bucket under his bed, but nothing seemed to work. Until one day Billy realized something while he was digging while fixing a tump in his yard. The lower he went, the colder the dirt seemed to be. So, Billy dug and dug, until he made a hole deep enough for him to put a bucket of beers in. He covered the hole back up and then left the beers overnight. When dawn came, Billy ran out of his house and dug up the beers, and when he took them out of the bucket and felt them, he jumped with joy. Billy hopped on his horse with a bucket of beers and a shovel. He banged on the saloon door and Sally opened it. "Sally I done it! I done it old woman!" cheered Billy. "Boy, I ain't no old woman, we coeval. And what is it that got you running around all agog.¨
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Prompt: Why are barns red?
Iowa is the home to the most powerful cows. These cows decide all the rules that the rest of the cows will follow. It was a cold night and the cows were having meeting, Big Mac, the ruler cow called on this meeting to discuss a crucial topic : what color should the barns be? "Attention, we are gathered here today to make a monumental decision for the future of cows everywhere," Big Mac declared, getting the attention of his fellow cows, "Our first topic of discussion will be on what color barns should be, anyone who wants to speak on this topic please come to the stage." One by one, the cows came up to the stage and pitched the ideas of their states. Only the most populous cow states were invited to these meetings, the rest of the states were nugacities in the decision making process. There were representatives from Texas, Nebraska, Kansas and Oklahoma to name a few. "Now that all of the states have pitched their ideas, we will vote for the top three colors. Purple, all in favor say moo, all opposed say boo," there was an overwhelming amount of boos. The top three ended up being top two because only two colors got a majority vote, and they were almost equal in votes. "Ok, now we have to decide between two colors, red or green," said Big Mac, "Now is there any state who feverently believes that their choice is better. " "Yes, we do," stated Angus from California. The cows in the room rolled their eyes, Californians were known as vulgarians to most. "Red is the superior color in this situation, if you don´t agree with that statement, you are wrong. Why would we want green barns? We don´t want our barns to camouflage into the nature around us, don´t we want to stand out? " "Ok... anyone else?" Big Mac prompted, "Seeing as no one else wants to say anything we will move onto the voting stage." Prompt: Why did pirates bother making prisoners or enemies "walk the plank" instead of just chucking them overboard?
Well, I can tell you the story of why that is. It was in 1567 and there was a ship in the middle of the Atlantic called the "Black Jewel". There were three types of people on this ship, the prisoners, the laborers and the captain. Well, on this night, the captain wasn't feeling very agog to be on the ship.You see, the prisoners were causes quite the ruckus with all their yelling, and the laborers weren't doing their jobs because of pure exhaustion. Getting more and more rankled by the minute, he decided to go down and force the prisoners to be quiet. The moment the prisoners heard the steps of the captain coming down the stairs, they fell silent. The captain walked down stairs into the crammed room with about four cells, each holding three to four prisoners. As he strolled through the silent room, only the crashing of the waves audible, he checked the cell to see what was going on. When he got to the third cell, he saw one of the prisoners trying to hide something behind his back. The captain demanded the prisoner to give him the paper he was hiding. The prisoner dubiously handed over the paper. As the captain opened it and started reading it, the prisoners got tense. The paper was full of polemics written towards the captain. |
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